Suffocation

by EFRD

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1.
02:26
2.
03:51
3.
02:58
4.
03:26
5.
09:25
6.
03:38

about

This album...is my most complete work thus far. I'm incredibly proud of it. I have nothing more to say on the matter.

credits

released August 15, 2015

Dedicated to everyone who's ever felt like they weren't enough. To everyone who's felt like they weren't real enough. To abuse victims, to survivors, to the outcasts, to the hurt. To every musician who's ever picked up an instrument. To anyone who's ever felt how I felt. For the girls like me. To the people who's footsteps echo quietly in such a way that they are never heard by the people who's ears they should reach. I love you; I love you.

Written, composed, performed, recorded, mixed and mastered in scenic Christine's bedroom and garage by Christine Baker.
Album artwork by the very talented and witchy Sloan Marshall (janksy.tumblr.com)
Thank you to Matt Church for giving me the wonderful Vox amp that I used for these recordings.
Nikolas Neon provided the microphone that made the vocals on this one possible. Thanks!
A thank (again) to Sloan for giving me a guitar I would later use in the recording sessions for this album.
And of course, I have to thank everyone who's continued to listen to my music and support my efforts. I wouldn't have made it anywhere without people like you.

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about

EFRD Lafayette, Indiana

EFRD is Christine Baker. She does everything, unless otherwise stated. A combination of grunge and whatever the fuck else. Need to know more? Questions? Hate mail? Contact us.

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Track Name: Despise
I know it isn't fair
These things aren't very clear
Clouds minds of resolution
I pruned the tree with fire

Slap my face
I'm a disgrace
What do you see?
Looking back at me

I know I haven't shared
It's not what I desired
We filled the vents with gas
We cut our eyes with glass

Don't you feel it?
You can't do it.
Not good enough
Unimpressive.
Can't you feel it?
You can't do it.
Not good enough
Unimpressive.

Slap my face
I'm a disgrace
What do you see?
Looking back at me
Track Name: Maybe I'm Ok
Genuine bits of humanity are
Scattered on top of apathy
I wonder if you're missing me?
Our time together burned away
and spread it's ashes on my heart

I'm breathing gently on her neck
Our arms held close, our bodies are warm,
And listening close I can hear her heart
Vulnerable and defenseless

Yeah, maybe
Maybe in that moment, I'm okay.
Yeah, maybe
Could I really even say that I'm okay?

Who am I doing this for?
I guess I'm proving that I could.
It's easy to make somebody cum
Yet to prove I can be loved, but
I know I can always be fucked.

I'm breathing gently on her neck
Our arms held close, our bodies are warm,
And listening close I can hear her heart
Vulnerable and defenseless

Yeah, maybe
Maybe in that moment, I'm okay.
Yeah, maybe
Could I really even say that I'm okay?

Lens turning, twisting, shifting,
and suddenly, comes into view
A weak, messy haired little girl
trembling, shaking, and screaming.
It's not his fault, it wasn't at all
No, he didn't even know me.
I needed a new toy and he fit
as well as he could, and that's all.
Track Name: Friends
I'm trying to get through
I can't get my legs to move
Falling apart, my seams
Don't tell me...

You bullshit me again, and I'm getting sick of it
I heard it from friends, and I'm getting sick of it
Behind me, you were brave, and now you're scared to say it
You bullshit me again, and I'm getting sick

I'm trying to forgive you
But every day is something new
Nothing is left to say
I'll leave it at

You bullshit me again, and I'm getting sick of it
I heard it from friends, and I'm getting sick of it
Behind me, you were brave, and now you're scared to say it
You bullshit me again, and I'm getting sick

You want to smother me
But there's things that trouble me
Why don't you let me see?
Why don't you let me breathe?

You bullshit me again, and I'm getting sick of it
I heard it from friends, and I'm getting sick of it
Behind me, you were brave, and now you're scared to say it
You bullshit me again, and I'm getting sick
Track Name: Suffocation
I need to scream, but my voice has been silenced.
I need to scream, but the willpower just isn't there.
I'm afraid my heart just wouldn't be in it.
Who am I afraid of?
Who do I silence myself for?
I silence myself, for myself.
Is it the right answer?
Bottling everything up as everything else shakes me up?
Things don't affect me anymore.
I have no eyes to see,
No ears to hear,
and no more strength to run.
And how can anything be real if I'm not?
How can anything be real? How can it be?
I don't feel real. I've never felt real.
I've never been enough, and I'll never be for anyone.
Alone in the distance, isolated in a crowd;
I don't belong anywhere, and nowhere is my home.
Nowhere is my home, and nowhere is my heart.
I know why I can't scream.
I know every reason.
In my head, I'm always screaming.
Because everything is too much.
Nothing is real, and everything is real.
Track Name: Diamonds
no one lives in this house
and the floors are so cold
pacing seems so easy
and i guess you're busy
out at sea, out to dream.
out to see, out to dream.
the cracks have started showing
one more wasted feeling
i got a dick, no semen,
i have a clit, no feeling
i have spice, no reason
i have a heart no feelings
in your eyes i was like diamonds
you used to appraise my value